apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
