dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I love having hate sex.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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