My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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