my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
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Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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