He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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