apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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