I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
lets start a swedish sibling band together
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We talked him into tasing himself.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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