So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
