idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
