remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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