you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
