I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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