She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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