It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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