Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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