Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
