PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
