I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
