We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
