Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
