If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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