That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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