I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
