I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize