Someone shit on the floor
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize