...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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