do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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