WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
