I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
