Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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