i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
