I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
