My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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