i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
