yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
vagina is talking i cant
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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