If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
