I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she peed on how many people?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
