I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
