Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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