i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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