I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
