I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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