If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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