my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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