why didn't you poke me back
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
soo... how was my night?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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