Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
