when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
