I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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