Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
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The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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