I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
