Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
