does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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