why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
