i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
