I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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