I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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