Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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