Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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