She said her name was "party"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
