She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
